What The Hell Is Up With Speedos???

Can someone please tell me what the hell is up with Speedos??? All over the world countries have contributed fantastic inventions to society. The television, the space shuttle, the light bulb; all fantastic inventions. Something to be proud of. Australia on the other hand; what do we have to show?? We invented the speedo!! A little piece of 1cm by 1cm material (they might as well be) wrapped around the genital area of a male to burn the retinas of unfortunate passers by.

When I first arrived on the Gold Coast, Varsity College went on a yr9 leadership day to the beach. Here I am, an innocent 14 yr old, completely fresh. Getting my first dose of Queensland lifestyle *rolls eyes* and some nasty, wrinkly, oompa loompa old man decides to step into public in a 1cm by 1cm speedo. It. Was. Zebra. Print.

Can someone please tell me why it is okay for an indiviual to step outside their homes in underwear. Oh wait, what are you gonna say? Awura-Abena that's not underwear, that's a speedo!!! Speedo my black ass. IT'S UNDERWEAR. I don't care which way you try and spin it, push it or sprinkle it with sugar. It's underwear. Which is exactly my point.

Now I understand that speedos are fantastic for professional swimming because they don't cause any restrictions. But that is exactly were they should stay!! In professional swimming. They shouldn't be allowed outside the boundaries of the lap pool. Can't someone just think of the children?? Picture this. Some man walking down the beach in a speedo (don't worry, this will be over soon). Little girl sitting next to her mother on the beach. She spots the man walking down the beach. She taps her mom and says, "Mommy, what's that?". You get my drift.

Now I'm not trying to deprive the desperate, hormone filled teenager with their daily dose for the day. I know what some of you are thinking. If guys get to look, why can't we. Now I understand your point but is it really worth the risk. Is it really worth having your beautiful day at the beach ruined by a 60 yr old man with a speedo going into his hairy crack running up and down the beach right in front of your face. I THINK NOT!!!

Speedos need to be put through the shredder and then chucked into a furnace. No one should be allowed to step into public in a speedo. Matter of fact, I move for a law to be passed against the speedo for the welfare of society and that poor, unfortunate five year old girl.

Peace, Love, Boycott Speedos,
Arabena