Movie Review: I Am Number Four

Three are dead.......and I....AM NUMBER FOUR!!! I have to say that that tagline is handsdown the coolest thing about this film. The title of the film is fantastic and is pretty much the only reason why I wanted to watch this movie since I have no interest in "corny as" teenage romances and hands that are homemade flashlights. How have I already seen it?? I happened to catch an advanced screening of I Am Number Four and I came out with a reaction that I have been getting a lot lately after watching a film...............meh.

I Am Number Four is not a bad movie.......but its not great either. Let me just start off by telling you that this movie is a shameless ploy to get your teenage soul into the theater. American film studios know that you are probably making $100 per week from your job at McDonalds and have no bills. So they release films with cool special effects, and "hunky" hearthrobs to get your hormonal ass into the theater so they can take your spare change. This film is S-H-A-M-E-L-E-S-S. They end it on the most obvious cliffnote that they want to make another one......and then another one..........and then another one. So beware, there is a high possibility of a franchise that you will be compelled to see even if you hate this movie. Watching I Am Number Four is not losing $8 hard-earned dollars on a monday. It's like losing $50. So the film itself:

I Am Number Four is about aliens. One race that looks like it fell out of Cosmopolitan and the other that looks like the fresh salmon your mom buys at the fish market (the enemy race has gills...that's right-gills.). The idea is that Number Four's race was destroyed except for nine children and their guardians. They are being hunted down by the evil race that destroyed their home planet (the fish people) and are killed one by one in order. These children possess special powers and that is why they are being hunted down. So like I said.....three are dead and he is Number Four. He's next to die and he's on the run. That's pretty much it. So lets start with the positives:

Alex Pettyfer is actually quite a good actor which is quite suprising considering how awful his first film 'Stormbreaker' was. He does quite a good job of convincing you that he hates his life and is distressed because there's a good chance he might die. The action is great. There are some awesome scenes in the movie with cool alien guns that makes aliens disengrate, and cool knives, and telekinesis powers and teleporting. Just pretty much cool action stuff. That's what makes this movie good. Now what you all want to hear, the bad things about this movie:

This movie suffers from what like I to call......Twilight Syndrome. Twilight Syndrome dear children, is a situation, where the lines (insert here) and the acting (insert actor's name here) and the background music (insert background music here ), is so overdramatic that you want to pick up your slushie, that you paid a ridiculous amount of money for at 'Scoop Alley,' and chuck it at the screen. It's always for the STUPIDEST situations that do not require that much drama. Like Number Four's relationship with his love interest (whose name I am not going to tell you about because I don't think it's important) is so forgettable its not even funny. This is the cause of Twilight Syndrome. They try to create this 'we are meant for each other' bond that just comes across as cheesy. So cheesy in fact, that I put in the effort to roll my eyes at the screen even though no one was looking. The whole point of an eye roll is so that that someone can see it! And the special effects:

They skate on thin ice in this movie. Sometimes it looks fantastic and others it looks cheap as hell. If they can flesh out whatever ridiculous million dollar sum to make the movie, they put out a few million more so that the movie doesn't resemble a cheap cartoon. One of the characters (who I won't tell you about for the sake of not spoiling the movie) is played by an Australian actress who seems to be very confused. She can't decide if she is American or Australian so she just speaks with this wierd hybrid of an accent that sounds like she spent Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday in Australia and Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday in America.

So yeah....I Am Number Four is in the middle. Some parts are good and some parts are utter crap. I happened to enjoy this movie because I like it when things blow up and people die. Enough people died and enough things blew up for me to to enjoy myself.

So if you like action and corny romance then you will love this film. If you like one of these components you will like the movie. And if you hate both this film is not for you. If you're a

teenage girl there's still hope, you can just stare at Alex Pettyfer (who is apparently hot) and still like the movie. If you're a boy (or girl) and you hate all three of those components, you're doomed.

Peace, Love, Homemade Flashlights

Arabena

Direction of Film in Future

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!

I will never be able to fully express my love for that line. I have no idea why I love it so much. Maybe it's because Alice in Wonderland in 3D is the latest movie I have seen at the trusty Robina cinemas or because it's an example about what I would do to Chemistry, Modern History and Mathematics if they were people. Slow and painful. There would be no mercy....

This my form of procrastination at the moment. After sitting behind my laptop to do hours of Modern History I decided to do my Chemistry. It dawned on me after staring at the paper in confusion and turning it round to look at the different angles and perspectives that I have no idea how to answer 95% of the questions. It's like I was never there. Chemistry is only a vague memory in my mind. I could have wagged half the lessons and known more. Test in a couple of days. Screwed.

It's been such a long time since I blogged so I decide to award my non existent readers with my presence and talk about a random thought I have been having lately.

Being the movie fanatic that I am, I think about films a lot (maybe that is why I retain no knowledge in my chemistry classes). After watching Alice in Wonderland, I came out with the same conclusion I have gotten from a lot of the 3D films I have seen. Visually stunning but the story is lacking. It made me wonder about the future of film and the direction of cinema. After the success of Avatar, studios are going crazy with 3D releases and projects. Is every movie going be groundbreaking and visually stunning but have no legit script? Since when did movies become paintings? What happened to storyline?

Now Avatar and Alice in Wonderland are good movies. Much better than the New Moon and Transformers crap. But you come out feeling that if they had spent as much time on the script as they did on the special effects the movie might have been amazing. It doesn't matter that Avatar and Alice in Wonderland are good films, they have contributed to the action 3D Vmax curse that is going to unravel over the next couple of years.

First, I was outraged by the idea that a crappy movie can become #1 at the box office if it's stars are hot eg. Twilight Saga. The only justification I heard for watching that film is Taylor Lautner's abs. Well guess I can't complain since it seems to be the only legit thing about those films. Just like Kim said, "Not really enjoying the film, might as well just enjoy the eye candy," after walking out of Percy Jackson.

Of course I'm the only one dumb enough to believe that that would be it. That no other factor would arise to dampen the film industry. Thanks Stephanie Meyer!!Thank you James Cameron and Tim Burton!! Thank you Michael Bay!! I decided I would get my thank yous in early for all of the action VMAX 3D films in the future that I am going to suffer through because the characters dialogue sounds like it's been written by a three year old!

Peace, love, don't you love 3D action,

Arabena

Movie Review: New Moon

The Twilight Saga: New Moon wins the award for the movie surrounded by the most bias. No matter what happens in this movie, regardless of it's script, storyline, special effects or the performance by the actors; The Twilight Saga: New Moon is a great film! If you ask a Twihard. New Moon is the best movie ever made!! This is the opinion coming from a hormone crazed young adult who decided to watch the New Moon because Robert Pattinson is hot and they wanted to see Taylor Lautner shirtless. That's the justification.

For apparently weird teenagers, like me, who have read all the books and thought that they were pretty good, decided to watch Twilight because they wanted to see how the story translated onto film, and couldn't care less about how hot Robert Pattinson may be; Twilight is a horrible film. So I went to watch the second installment New Moon, clearing my head of my hatred for the first, wishing for a new experience and opinion and hoping for improvement because of the new director; I came out of The Twilight Saga: New Moon very disappointed.

Let me start off with some positives. I may be one of the only people who thought that The Twilight Saga: New Moon was better than the original Twilight. That may have to do with my annoyance with Robert Pattinson's overexposure (the guy is everywhere) and my excitement with not having him clog up my screen. But I liked it more than Twilight. Another positive is that the special effects are a lot better than in the first film. There some scenes were the special effects are lacking, like in Edward's bedroom (wherever he ran off to after leaving Bella) which looks so fake it is ridiculous; and the wolves who also look very fake. Despite that, the scenes are a lot brighter and the vampires eyes and movements are a lot more eye-catching.

Here are the negatives. New Moon is a bad film. Why the twihard will ask? Because the story is bad. New Moon is a best selling book. The reason the story hasn't been criticized is because it a part of Bella's journey and helps complete the story. But if we isolate the book from the others in the series and really analyze it; this is what we get. A girl's boyfriend dumps her because he thinks her life would be better without him. She sinks into chronic depression because he leaves her. She then decides to do dangerous things so that she can get hallucinations of him.... Are you getting my drift? Bad story. It does not help that the translation of the lines from book to script are horrible. Saying cheesy, cheesy lines, like, "do you not understand how much I love you", "your the reason why I live" or "my gift is your breathing" or something along those lines. Way too dramatic.

It did not help, that at moments, the performances were terrible. There were so terrible that scenes that were supposed to be dramatic had my friends and I howling in laughter. The last scene when Edward asks Bella to marry him, rounded off the hilarity with most of the audience in my cinema bursting into laughter. Maybe that scene was intended to be funny. All I know was I was holding in my laughter in order to look stupid when Bella told Jacob to "not make her choose."

And can someone tell me what is up with the ridiculous facial expressions? Now I know that Edward is in "pain" when he kisses Bella but Robert Pattinson's expression during the kissing scenes resembled constipation. Bella dramatically falling to floor and holding herself after running after Edward with a look of pain was the most hilarious thing i had ever seen. What was up with that? Did I miss him bite her or something? How many people can you recall sinking to the floor like someone has stabbed them after someone breaks up with them. Like I said, way too dramatic. Crying would have been fine. I hear that's the more normal thing to do.

But who cares if the acting sucks, and the story sucks; Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson are hot! What is the point of the movie then? Sorry that I am not a normal teenager who couldn't care less. Who was hoping to watch a good movie with good acting and a good story. A thing that most films and most audiences attempt to accomplish and see.

The movies are not doing the books justice. It is these films that are captivating audiences and breaking records. Not award winning films. Movies like Twilight. The good news is that the next movie will be mostly action (an aspect that I believe these films can accomplish) and there is a new director so there is a chance that The Twilight Saga: Eclipse may be good. Regardless, New Moon and Twilight will remain bad films.

Don't believe the hype. People like me have to roam the streets worried that I am going to be beaten up for speaking negatively upon the blessing that Twilight apparently is. If you decide to watch New Moon, I hope that you enjoy it. If you end up sharing my opinion, run. Run very fast. Twihards are everywhere.

NAT WAS HERE! :D that's right..

explanation: (arabena currently at my house.)

*I helped her change her layout.* :P

Graphic of the Day!!

This is the first official artwork for the action film Sucker Punch! directed by Zach Snyder (the director of Watchmen). I'm not particularly crazy about action films but this one caught my eye. First of all, the artwork is amazing! Secondly, the movie is based on an original script. Not some remake or overdone idea. It's about five girls in a mental asylum who imagine their way out in the 1950's. There are going to be some serious fighting scenes in this movie. There are three different sub-realities. Confusing? Yes! Creative? Hell yes! So excited for this film.

What The Hell Is Up With Twilght????

I am screaming from the hilltops, "THIS IS TOO MUCH." Okay. Maybe that is a little dramatic but it gets across the point. Can someone please tell me what the hell is up with Twilight?? I remember coming to school one day and having Kim introduce me to the books, which at the time I was very excited to read. Everyone was talking about them, all my friends in Sydney had read them and not only that, but a movie (my favourite thing in the world) was coming out soon and I wanted to read the book before I watched it. So I asked my dad to get me the book from the public library (he bought it instead- he never buys me anything but he decides to buy me twilight-dear god) and I sat down for a whole day. I enjoyed the book so I ended up reading the entire series which was also good. Now the Twilght Saga aren't the best books in the world (despite what some crazed twi-hard will tell you-trust me there's better) but they're still pretty good. So Kim and I went and watched the movie. This is when all of the problems started.

First of all, the movie wasn't good. I came out it with my best compliment being that it was alright and Robert Pattinson pulled off Edward pretty well. But the more I thought about it the more I realised how bad it was. As the months have progressed I have grown a serious hatred for that film. That is two hours and a minute that I will never get back. The movie was depressing, Kristen Stewart acting was flat (I swear she has no emotion) and Robert Pattinson jumping from trees and screaming that no one is stronger than him was the most hilarious thing I have seen in my entire life (it was supposed to be dramatic).

The movie blew up earning over 70 million dollars opening weekend and the hype commenced. The reason for my post has been revealed-the hype. The twi-hards, merchandising, DVD, magazines, Robert Pattinson autobiographies, Twilight Documentaries, greasy hair, Kristen Stewart face on every gossip site, posters, WE CAN'T HIDE!!!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!! TWILIGHT IS EVERYWHERE!! You look to the left, twilight is there. You look to the right, twilight is there. You look in front of you, twilight is there. You walk forward praying to god you won't see it again but then you realise it's right behind you. YOU CAN'T HIDE!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH TWILIGHT?!??!!

People were complaining about High School Musical overload but it wasn't half as bad as this. Shockingly, High School Musical is a better movie!! It makes sense to have a High School Musical doll considering the movies are for kids but why would you make a doll for movies directed toward teengers??? What teenager in their right mind would want a doll. The thing that I can't wrap my head around is that there is a good chance that those dolls sold out anyway!

I don't want to be a princess, I want to be a vampire-Supre, what are you smoking!!! Who in their right mind decided to sell those shirts and why would you buy them??? They were the gayest things I had ever seen. I turned around and some six year old was wearing one because they were too young to understand the embarrassment that are those shirts. You know what's really sad. THOSE PROBABLY SOLD OUT TOO!!!!

Can someone please inform the people behind Twilight and the stars of the movie that overexposure is NOT good?? Your not making us want to buy it by shoving it in our faces, you're making us want to steal every DVD off the shelf, take them outside and break them with a machete. The books were good. Isn't that ENOUGH??? You're ruining it. Haven't you heard the saying too many cooks spoil the broth?? It's too much! Now, the orginal dedicated Twilight fans, (Kim) hate the series because they're so annoyed with the hype. Slow it down and give us some air!! The movie wasn't even good!!

To make matters worse New Moon comes out next month, Eclipse is filming right now and Breaking Dawn is in the works (it might end up being split into two films-oh lord!!). There is no end to this torture. It won't die for a couple more years. Because I love movies, and Twilight is so big, I am going to watch it just because I don't want to have to say I didn't. How sad! There is some hope in this tunnel of darkness. There is a new director so it might be better than the first and Dakota Fanning (a decent actor) is in it. So there is some hope for a good film but the hype. We are stuck with it for another couple of years. :(

Peace, Love, Boycott Twilight Hype!!!
Arabena

New Phrase!!!

Twilight= Gaylight

TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!